legislate me, baby!

it had been a long day and there were errands to run, people to shuttle after work. somewhere in the miasma of january ennui it seemed good to stop at kentucky fried chicken for supper. after purchasing a large bucket of chirp (which turned out to be quite a task seeing as the voice on the other side of the speaker made chicken sound like an exotic choice... one i couldn't seem to understand)
i hauled it home and spread it across the breakfast bar. what was wrong with me? how is it possible to turn items from nature into this? apparently, by the amount of leftovers coagulating in the refrigerator, this wasn't a wise choice.
this morning, as i reached for the creamer, the kfc bucket shouted out a comforting message to me. ZERO TRANS FAT! in big, bold red print, my apparent mistake was redeemed by knowing that despite how awful and greasy it had tasted, none of that grease was a trans fat. my heart beat a little more regular at that thought. thank you government, thank you legislation, you save me from my own bad judgment.
why, isn't that what government is for? to pass laws that save humans from having to think things through or suffer the consequences of their bad choices? for god's sakes, after all, do i really have to develop some sort of system of my own? my government says that trans fats are bad for me and that my fast food must not contain it. even if that fast food contains 10 other soul-sucking attributes, trans fats won't be one of them. i feel good... i'm o.k., you're o.k.

have we so embraced the nanny state, that we let them choose our food? what if i want to eat good, old fashioned lard? is it because if i do, i'll turn around and sue the lard company for making me fat? what have we become that we have no common sense. no common sense and no sense of ourselves. we are waiting for magazines, polls and spin doctors to tell us what we think. we just aren't sure of our relationships, our children, our choices. we need therapy. we need drugs. we need labels on our coffee to tell us it's hot. we need botox to tell us we are not old.

january doldrums can only be beat by dragging our lazy selves off our proverbial mental couches and start affirming our own choices. support and choose those who reflect and reinforce an independent spirit.